I haven't been blogging very often (a lack of *quality* singing competitions might have something to do with it) but sometimes the spirit moves me and I can't help myself. This happened recently, when after hearing a hilariously awful pop song on the radio, I googled the words "I love you like a love song" and was treated to the fucking incredible video that is the new Selena Gomez release. So much to talk about, so little time:
First, you need to watch the epic video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgT_us6AsDg
Now, let's go over the points that make this video so incredibly awesome:
1) The chorus only has one line (well, two if you count "and I keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat") so I only have to learn one phrase, which is also, conveniently, the name of the song. Thanks, writing team! So easy to sing along!
2) The whole video is somehow framed around Japanese karaoke. Enough said. I would imagine the folks at Disney thought they'd kill two birds with one stone and release a regular video AND karaoke version at once?
3) Miss Gomez (not old enough to be a Ms, sorry, even if she is old enough to bang Bieber) has great hair. I love how they differentiate between "Karaoke bar Selena" and "omg I'm in the music video Selena" by making one of them big flowy Gaga hair and one of them sleek smooth and straight (more ethnically appropriate?) hair.
4) Speaking of the video-within-a-video, why is her only musical accompaniment a fucking blond Sitar player? And why is he dressed like a cross between Bowie and David Koresh? His fringed vest revealing a perfectly waxed chest seems more Native American Indian than India Indian, don't we think? And wait, now he's giving her the ol' come hither look?
5) In the midst of sitar-playing and beach frolicking with the aforementioned string player, why does she take a quick break to do some hula-hooping? Why, God, why?
6) Now, around the end of the first chorus, shit gets real interesting. We get a glimpse of a different Bowie shout-out, this one Selena herself in the classic 80s white suit and silver lipstick, before they cut away to the true genius of this video: the Amadeus tribute. I can just see her people sitting around going "ok, now let's have her stroll the beach in a hippie costume with pink lighting and a human Avatar lookalike, now let's have some Japanese karaoke characters appear on screen, and now let's have her in 18th century Viennese gear writhing around on a piano," etc. I'm pretty sure the same creepy sitar player is now the dude playing her piano, but no matter, I'm more into the fact that they got her eyebrows to really match her white powdered hair. It doesn't look creepy, how is that possible??? It's honestly all I could think about while watching her try to engage the audience in a sultry but not slutty way, which is harder then you'd think when dressed in a full-length, corseted gown and forced to gyrate on top of a purple piano.
7) Fortunately, I'm allowed to stop focusing on her brows, when some random Japanese characters come on screen to remind me that I'm still watching Selena in a Tokyo karaoke bar. Wait, what? Now we're in a retro convertible with retro hair and glasses and some Elvis lookalike is now in the picture? Yes, makes sense. Especially because it's still being captioned in Japanese.
8) If you were concerned that boy-haircut-and-silver-lipstick-and-white-suit-Selena had disappeared for good, never fear! She returns to form a cool background in the form of a TV bank for down-to-earth-karaoke-singer-Selena to dance around in front of. Phewph!
9) I was also a bit worried around this time that there would be no new surprises in store for me, as the editors began to cut all the Selenas together (Amadeus, karaoke, music video hippie princess, retro, and Bowie Selenas) but I WAS WRONG. Thank GOD, when the bridge came around we were treated to another version of Justin's GF: mariachi Selena. Yes, I said it. Selena frolics (you might think I'm overusing that word, but is there another way to describe skipping/laughing/holding hands with hotties/running through HOT PINK FIELDS OF FLOWERS??) through a field of pink daisies with a mariachi band. Oh, and they also give her a light saber with which to break a piñata.... And yes, if you were wondering, it's common practice for Mexican children to use beams of light to try and liberate their mini Snickers bars. I won't lie, though, I'd kill my firstborn to be able to have the bejeweled bodice Selena sports while breaking into a heart-shaped piñata full of confetti.
10) Hey, how'd Amadeus get into a karaoke bar??? No matter, I'm just so happy all of her supporting characters get to come together to watch her win the competition... You go, girl!
Friday, October 28, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
American Idol 4/27
Sooooooo, this is the stage in the game where handicapping gets a lot harder. They've weeded out the shoddier talent (sorry, Pia, but after last night's SUPER boring performance on DWTS and your willingness to be with Mark Ballas in a romantic way, I'm over you) and we're left with a relatively diverse group.
Mr Jacob Lusk went first, and I was pretty nervous when he started out. He sounded a bit sharp, but then he got into it and really blew me away by the end. His vocal runs combined with his version of dancing (jumping up and down while raising a leg) got me steadily back on the Jacob train. I wouldn't say he's out of danger, though, because I think he still has a hard time connecting with younger viewers, as they probably don't enjoy his more laid back, adult vibe.
James Durbin was the biggest surprise of the night for me. Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow is sort of a personal favorite, and I thought his slower, heartfelt version really connected. This was the first week where he didn't give off a strong douchebag vibe for me, but perhaps straying from him style could come back and hurt him... Based on that performance, though, he's convinced me he has some depth.
Lauren and Scotty were both pretty boring for me. We all know I've liked them both from the start, but they both need to step up their games. Lauren did a pretty bland version of a bland song, and it was good, but it was by no means great. Scotty tried his hand at You've Got a Friend, and it did nothing for me. They both might get a surprise (to them) visit to the bottom 3. Their duet together was also unremarkable, definitely the worst of the 3.
Casey was pretty great, I thought. He managed to showcase his vocals and he actually didn't look like a stoner community college attendee! His suit really glammed up the performance, and he continues to be a solid performer. I still worry that the beard and weirdo thing are going to hold him back, but we'll see....
Haley was, as usual, a standout. Her voice lent itself perfectly to the song she chose, Beautiful, and I think she proved yet again that she has the best voice in the competition. Rock on!
It's hard to say who'll be in the bottom 3... I'm going to go out on a limb and say Lauren, Jacob and Scotty. It's hard to say who'll get the boot, I'm kind of torn between Scotty and Jacob, but if I had to pick one, I think I'd pick Jacob... We'll see!
Mr Jacob Lusk went first, and I was pretty nervous when he started out. He sounded a bit sharp, but then he got into it and really blew me away by the end. His vocal runs combined with his version of dancing (jumping up and down while raising a leg) got me steadily back on the Jacob train. I wouldn't say he's out of danger, though, because I think he still has a hard time connecting with younger viewers, as they probably don't enjoy his more laid back, adult vibe.
James Durbin was the biggest surprise of the night for me. Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow is sort of a personal favorite, and I thought his slower, heartfelt version really connected. This was the first week where he didn't give off a strong douchebag vibe for me, but perhaps straying from him style could come back and hurt him... Based on that performance, though, he's convinced me he has some depth.
Lauren and Scotty were both pretty boring for me. We all know I've liked them both from the start, but they both need to step up their games. Lauren did a pretty bland version of a bland song, and it was good, but it was by no means great. Scotty tried his hand at You've Got a Friend, and it did nothing for me. They both might get a surprise (to them) visit to the bottom 3. Their duet together was also unremarkable, definitely the worst of the 3.
Casey was pretty great, I thought. He managed to showcase his vocals and he actually didn't look like a stoner community college attendee! His suit really glammed up the performance, and he continues to be a solid performer. I still worry that the beard and weirdo thing are going to hold him back, but we'll see....
Haley was, as usual, a standout. Her voice lent itself perfectly to the song she chose, Beautiful, and I think she proved yet again that she has the best voice in the competition. Rock on!
It's hard to say who'll be in the bottom 3... I'm going to go out on a limb and say Lauren, Jacob and Scotty. It's hard to say who'll get the boot, I'm kind of torn between Scotty and Jacob, but if I had to pick one, I think I'd pick Jacob... We'll see!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Book Review: Sweet Valley Confidential
The premise sounds simple enough to fool the American public, right? Take a series of novels created for pre-teen and teen girls from the late 80s and early 90s, fast-forward "ten" years from then to the present day, and write a follow up sequel marketed for the now adult women that used to read the books... It's the nation of Twilight, after all, when any half-ass piece of trash masquerading as kiddie lit can capture the hearts and minds of multiple generations. Unfortunately for SVC, Twilight has a more realistic plot, more compelling characters, and much better writing (and that's saying a fuckload) than this "revisit" does...
Poor Francine Pascal. She must be in her like 80s now, and FINALLY slow enough that when someone proposed a follow up to her blockbuster series, she thought it sounded like a good idea. In interviews, she proclaims something along the lines of "people care! They really care about the twins" which I can only imagine she truly believes. But anyway, the book opens after Jessica (the sassy, popular, bad-girl twin) has stolen THE LOVE OF HER SISTER'S LIFE TODD SOMETHING, who was honestly the only other real part of the Sweet Valley sisters that I vaguely remembered... Hot basketball jock falls for Elizabeth (smart, conscientious good-girl twin) in high school, they go to the same college and stay together, and we all think this is going to end well??? Come on now... The slutty one has a history of this sort of thing! But as the story unravels, we discover why Jessica has been hoing it out for Todd, and for how long, etc and in some ways we're supposed to feel like she's an awful person but then somehow the moral becomes that since TODD AND JESSICA ARE IN LOVE AND HAVE BEEN SECRETLY IN LOVE FOR YEARS IT'S ALL OKAY. Really? Because it didn't seem okay with Elizabeth, nor with anyone with any moral compass whatsoever.
So Elizabeth has fled to New York City to nurse her wounded heart and plot her revenge, all the while wallowing in self pity, engaging in semi-casual sex (do I really want to know that she cries after orgasm?? This is someone I met when she was FIFTEEN), and avoiding her sister's calls. Jessica, meanwhile, has spent her time fucking moving in with Todd, being ostracized from all her friends (oh my god! the town gossip thinks she's a slut for stealing her sister's fiance! imagine that!), and wallowing in self pity. The only thing that keeps her going is knowing that she's truly, truly in love with Todd (although we come to find out she's also managed to marry some older billionaire who marooned her in France) so everyone should just get over it, especially her sister, whom she calls often and leaves pathetic messages.
But Lizzie is trying to make it on her own a la Mary Tyler Moore, and succeeding a bit. She has a habit of meeting/befriending incredibly hot men and having deep intellectual (for this book) conversations and then deep intellectual thoughts about her post-breakup self afterwards. But of course she's going to have to face her demons in Sweet Valley before this whole trainwreck comes to a screeching halt.
Since I was a CHILD when I last read these books, I'm a little confused/amused at Pascal's description of twin-ness. Often Jessica "aches" for her sister and just desperately wants to be held in her arms, to affirm her own sense of self. This is disturbing for a variety of reasons, most of which I won't go into now, but come on... Creepy! Some of the descriptions honestly sound like the woman is describing lovers or something. There's always been a level of creepiness about the whole SVH series, but the perfect bodies, perfect lives (save for the occasional drug induced coma or car wreck), and awful dialogue could previously be overlooked due to cheerful stories - and probably the reader's age.
On an amusing note, guess who turns out to be gay??? Guess that's why he was such a Lothario in high school, right? And guess who beats cancer but is still a bitch? Etc. I actually applaud Pascal for being semi-realistic in how a lot of the characters end up, that would have to be the one redeeming quality of the novel. That, and I was able to read it in one evening between Teen Mom 2 and Colbert... There are many unhappy marriages, substance abuse problems, conservatives, and the aforementioned major gay splash that abound in the wrap up at the end of the tale. I would suggest just reading the epilogue and character notes at the end of the book in your local barnes and noble... It would save a lot of slogging through misguided attempts at a new plot and horrifyingly awful flashbacks.
Of course, if you're a fan of the old series, I still say read it. Many parts are hilarious, although perhaps not intentionally...
Poor Francine Pascal. She must be in her like 80s now, and FINALLY slow enough that when someone proposed a follow up to her blockbuster series, she thought it sounded like a good idea. In interviews, she proclaims something along the lines of "people care! They really care about the twins" which I can only imagine she truly believes. But anyway, the book opens after Jessica (the sassy, popular, bad-girl twin) has stolen THE LOVE OF HER SISTER'S LIFE TODD SOMETHING, who was honestly the only other real part of the Sweet Valley sisters that I vaguely remembered... Hot basketball jock falls for Elizabeth (smart, conscientious good-girl twin) in high school, they go to the same college and stay together, and we all think this is going to end well??? Come on now... The slutty one has a history of this sort of thing! But as the story unravels, we discover why Jessica has been hoing it out for Todd, and for how long, etc and in some ways we're supposed to feel like she's an awful person but then somehow the moral becomes that since TODD AND JESSICA ARE IN LOVE AND HAVE BEEN SECRETLY IN LOVE FOR YEARS IT'S ALL OKAY. Really? Because it didn't seem okay with Elizabeth, nor with anyone with any moral compass whatsoever.
So Elizabeth has fled to New York City to nurse her wounded heart and plot her revenge, all the while wallowing in self pity, engaging in semi-casual sex (do I really want to know that she cries after orgasm?? This is someone I met when she was FIFTEEN), and avoiding her sister's calls. Jessica, meanwhile, has spent her time fucking moving in with Todd, being ostracized from all her friends (oh my god! the town gossip thinks she's a slut for stealing her sister's fiance! imagine that!), and wallowing in self pity. The only thing that keeps her going is knowing that she's truly, truly in love with Todd (although we come to find out she's also managed to marry some older billionaire who marooned her in France) so everyone should just get over it, especially her sister, whom she calls often and leaves pathetic messages.
But Lizzie is trying to make it on her own a la Mary Tyler Moore, and succeeding a bit. She has a habit of meeting/befriending incredibly hot men and having deep intellectual (for this book) conversations and then deep intellectual thoughts about her post-breakup self afterwards. But of course she's going to have to face her demons in Sweet Valley before this whole trainwreck comes to a screeching halt.
Since I was a CHILD when I last read these books, I'm a little confused/amused at Pascal's description of twin-ness. Often Jessica "aches" for her sister and just desperately wants to be held in her arms, to affirm her own sense of self. This is disturbing for a variety of reasons, most of which I won't go into now, but come on... Creepy! Some of the descriptions honestly sound like the woman is describing lovers or something. There's always been a level of creepiness about the whole SVH series, but the perfect bodies, perfect lives (save for the occasional drug induced coma or car wreck), and awful dialogue could previously be overlooked due to cheerful stories - and probably the reader's age.
On an amusing note, guess who turns out to be gay??? Guess that's why he was such a Lothario in high school, right? And guess who beats cancer but is still a bitch? Etc. I actually applaud Pascal for being semi-realistic in how a lot of the characters end up, that would have to be the one redeeming quality of the novel. That, and I was able to read it in one evening between Teen Mom 2 and Colbert... There are many unhappy marriages, substance abuse problems, conservatives, and the aforementioned major gay splash that abound in the wrap up at the end of the tale. I would suggest just reading the epilogue and character notes at the end of the book in your local barnes and noble... It would save a lot of slogging through misguided attempts at a new plot and horrifyingly awful flashbacks.
Of course, if you're a fan of the old series, I still say read it. Many parts are hilarious, although perhaps not intentionally...
Thursday, April 7, 2011
American Idol 4/06
I can honestly say that this is the best season of Idol that I've ever watched (the last 4). There is not a single horrible contestant left at this stage of the game, no Sanjayas, no Kristi Lee Cooks, no season 10 contestants ha. That was last season, right? I mean whatever last season was, the season of shit. PS where is Lee Dewyze, anyone??? I know Crystal's been busy, since I just saw her in a commercial for One-Touch Ultra talking about managing her diabetes with BB King...
So, it's actually pretty tough to call tonight's bottom 3, let alone the person voted off! However, I think Paul, Stephano, and James could be in danger... Paul was okay, but I definitely didn't think he closed the show out with a bang - and unfortunately for him, I don't think throngs of teenage girls are going to vote for a Johnny Cash song (unless it's done by Adam Lambert and includes eyeliner and a shocked Lyle Lovett in the audience....) Stephano was average, as usual, and in no way stood out. I don't know why JLo's taken it upon herself to be his personal champion, but she needs to get over her initial impressions of him and accept he's a one trick pony. I thought he fell flat on a lot of notes, but Randy was the only voice of reason in the group, saying it was just okay. I think the last spot could be a toss-up between Jacob and James, but I just think James is a fucking douchebag. Have you seen him smirk at the camera like he's hot shit? He seems like the douchey kid from high school who sang in a band that no one followed, and now that he's on Idol he wants to remake himself as some sex god. There are a lot of girls from back in the day laughing their asses off every time he tries to pout sexy...
Since we only have 3 girls left (the first 4 people booted were all women! weird!) I think they will probably be all safe. Pia really got me up and into River Deep, Mountain High, but I have to admit, that song is so fucking amazing that it would be hard to do it poorly. But she was consistent and showed she could entertain more than standing in front of a microphone... I enjoyed Haley's performance, and I think she's really coming into herself. Note that I called her my dark horse at the beginning... :) My only fault was with Lauren Alaina because honestly, at 16 or 17, how can any dude make you feel like a natural woman??? You're still a natural child! She should have sang Britney Spears' I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman... Although I guess Miss Britney is not in the rocknroll hall of fame ha.
Not for the first time, I thought Jacob was merely okay. His voice is still the most nuanced, textured, and extreme that the show has ever hosted, but Man In The Mirror is so overdone... It's hard to put one's own spin on it... He did fine, it was still a good performance, but you know what I mean. Casey was also just okay for me, although not bad. His voice is beautiful, but he needs to change it up a bit - I liked him better when he was running all over the stage screaming I Put A Spell On You... And Scotty put on a great show, I don't know how many times I can say that I don't usually like the whole country/hillbilly thing, but he does it so well I just lap it up!
Overall, everyone was pretty decent. I'm going to go with Stephano to be voted off again, but I worry that that's because I chose him last week and I want to be vindicated... If anyone other than him or Paul gets voted off, it'll be a "shocker".
So, it's actually pretty tough to call tonight's bottom 3, let alone the person voted off! However, I think Paul, Stephano, and James could be in danger... Paul was okay, but I definitely didn't think he closed the show out with a bang - and unfortunately for him, I don't think throngs of teenage girls are going to vote for a Johnny Cash song (unless it's done by Adam Lambert and includes eyeliner and a shocked Lyle Lovett in the audience....) Stephano was average, as usual, and in no way stood out. I don't know why JLo's taken it upon herself to be his personal champion, but she needs to get over her initial impressions of him and accept he's a one trick pony. I thought he fell flat on a lot of notes, but Randy was the only voice of reason in the group, saying it was just okay. I think the last spot could be a toss-up between Jacob and James, but I just think James is a fucking douchebag. Have you seen him smirk at the camera like he's hot shit? He seems like the douchey kid from high school who sang in a band that no one followed, and now that he's on Idol he wants to remake himself as some sex god. There are a lot of girls from back in the day laughing their asses off every time he tries to pout sexy...
Since we only have 3 girls left (the first 4 people booted were all women! weird!) I think they will probably be all safe. Pia really got me up and into River Deep, Mountain High, but I have to admit, that song is so fucking amazing that it would be hard to do it poorly. But she was consistent and showed she could entertain more than standing in front of a microphone... I enjoyed Haley's performance, and I think she's really coming into herself. Note that I called her my dark horse at the beginning... :) My only fault was with Lauren Alaina because honestly, at 16 or 17, how can any dude make you feel like a natural woman??? You're still a natural child! She should have sang Britney Spears' I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman... Although I guess Miss Britney is not in the rocknroll hall of fame ha.
Not for the first time, I thought Jacob was merely okay. His voice is still the most nuanced, textured, and extreme that the show has ever hosted, but Man In The Mirror is so overdone... It's hard to put one's own spin on it... He did fine, it was still a good performance, but you know what I mean. Casey was also just okay for me, although not bad. His voice is beautiful, but he needs to change it up a bit - I liked him better when he was running all over the stage screaming I Put A Spell On You... And Scotty put on a great show, I don't know how many times I can say that I don't usually like the whole country/hillbilly thing, but he does it so well I just lap it up!
Overall, everyone was pretty decent. I'm going to go with Stephano to be voted off again, but I worry that that's because I chose him last week and I want to be vindicated... If anyone other than him or Paul gets voted off, it'll be a "shocker".
Thursday, March 31, 2011
American Idol 3.31
So I've been laying out/drinking Bud Light since 1pm, so I just want to document my picks for tonight... Unfortch last week I wasn't able to blog, and can only point to a text message sent to my friend Nathan as evidence of my picks of Stephano, Naima, and Paul to be voted off... And I freely admit Stephano making the bottom 3 was as close as I got to a correct prediction.
This week we have 2 contestants to go... One will no doubt be Stephano, but the other vote is KILLING me... Is it Naima???? My normal go-to person to hate on... Hayley??? Who I LOVE and did great and the judges love? Thia "who the fuck are you and how are you still on this show oh wait you're an asian teenager and they are the biggest internet users EVER" Megia?? Or Paul, whom I like but whom I think doesn't have the following/understanding to make it big? Hmm...
Goodbye to Stephano and.... Naima.
This week we have 2 contestants to go... One will no doubt be Stephano, but the other vote is KILLING me... Is it Naima???? My normal go-to person to hate on... Hayley??? Who I LOVE and did great and the judges love? Thia "who the fuck are you and how are you still on this show oh wait you're an asian teenager and they are the biggest internet users EVER" Megia?? Or Paul, whom I like but whom I think doesn't have the following/understanding to make it big? Hmm...
Goodbye to Stephano and.... Naima.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
American Idol 3/16/11
As soon as they announced that it would be songs from the year of their births, I started holding my breath for Heart's Alone - the quintessential 80s pop power ballad. I had to wait til the last song, but I got it, and my boy Jacob didn't disappoint. He started off a little warbly but when he got warmed up, I got goosebumpy! I texted a friend that Jacob reminds me a bit of a friend of mine from Berkeley, if the friend was black, gay, and from Compton. They just move the same! And of course, that is just my gaydar speaking ( and it's been known to backfire) bc we all know the producers won't let anyone come out til after the show.
So, Jacob's in again. I kind of want to go out on a limb and say I think all the boys will be safe again - we'll have another all female bottom 3. I didn't think Stephano was amazing, but J.Lo's rapt attention to him and the accolades shoved at him show the judges think otherwise. Paul did a great job on Elton John's I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues, but the judges surprisingly gave him a lot of shit for it. My country boy Scotty has the country vote locked up (sorry Lauren Alaina, and I honestly will have to look up what country song you attempted since I don't remember anything about you, other than I jotted down you redeemed yourself) and Casey is weird enough with the Nirvana choice to skate through on the power of his voice. I actually though James wasn't that great with his Bon Jovi, and if any boy were to make a surprise appearance in the bottom 3, it would be him or Paul in my opinion.
I'm pretty worried for cute little Hayley. Despite the judges saying she has no personality (the pop, blues, and country choices) I think she has a GREAT voice and I love her runs and stuff. She has the most textured voice of any of the girls, but the red lipstick debacle last night was pretty rough to watch. Don't even get me started on Thia Megia. You really fucking chose a song from fucking Pocahontas? Are you trying to be as Asian teenager as possible? A) it scares the shit out of me that she was born in 1995. B) DISNEY C) you looked like a tween pageant queen. Get it together. And now I remember that Lauren Sang I'm the Only One, which I have to admit is one of my favorite songs, and that she did a great job, hence me writing down "redemption" next to her name. Sidebar, her parents looked 30. FRIGHTENING. Compared to Casey's 60+ parents (who were the funniest, except Lusk's mom) they looked like children. I guess this is a preview to what the babies from Teen Mom will end up like....
So... bottom 3, in my humble opinion will be Hayley (alas! I hope she makes it through, she's my dark horse), Karen (whom I've hated since day 1, so I'm glad she sucked last night) and Naima. Naima will bounce. I just don't think audiences connect with her - it's no surprise she was a wild card. It's also no surprise that if my predictions ring true, 2 of the 3 wild cards will be out first. There's a reason they didn't get the votes themselves. If there is a surprise male candidate, I'd say James or Paul, with Paul prob being the choice. But I think it'll be girl centric again.
Bye Naima!
So, Jacob's in again. I kind of want to go out on a limb and say I think all the boys will be safe again - we'll have another all female bottom 3. I didn't think Stephano was amazing, but J.Lo's rapt attention to him and the accolades shoved at him show the judges think otherwise. Paul did a great job on Elton John's I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues, but the judges surprisingly gave him a lot of shit for it. My country boy Scotty has the country vote locked up (sorry Lauren Alaina, and I honestly will have to look up what country song you attempted since I don't remember anything about you, other than I jotted down you redeemed yourself) and Casey is weird enough with the Nirvana choice to skate through on the power of his voice. I actually though James wasn't that great with his Bon Jovi, and if any boy were to make a surprise appearance in the bottom 3, it would be him or Paul in my opinion.
I'm pretty worried for cute little Hayley. Despite the judges saying she has no personality (the pop, blues, and country choices) I think she has a GREAT voice and I love her runs and stuff. She has the most textured voice of any of the girls, but the red lipstick debacle last night was pretty rough to watch. Don't even get me started on Thia Megia. You really fucking chose a song from fucking Pocahontas? Are you trying to be as Asian teenager as possible? A) it scares the shit out of me that she was born in 1995. B) DISNEY C) you looked like a tween pageant queen. Get it together. And now I remember that Lauren Sang I'm the Only One, which I have to admit is one of my favorite songs, and that she did a great job, hence me writing down "redemption" next to her name. Sidebar, her parents looked 30. FRIGHTENING. Compared to Casey's 60+ parents (who were the funniest, except Lusk's mom) they looked like children. I guess this is a preview to what the babies from Teen Mom will end up like....
So... bottom 3, in my humble opinion will be Hayley (alas! I hope she makes it through, she's my dark horse), Karen (whom I've hated since day 1, so I'm glad she sucked last night) and Naima. Naima will bounce. I just don't think audiences connect with her - it's no surprise she was a wild card. It's also no surprise that if my predictions ring true, 2 of the 3 wild cards will be out first. There's a reason they didn't get the votes themselves. If there is a surprise male candidate, I'd say James or Paul, with Paul prob being the choice. But I think it'll be girl centric again.
Bye Naima!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
American Idol 3/09/11
The bottom 3 tonight should be:
Ashthon, Lauren, and Stephano.
I actually like Lauren a lot, but Any Man of Mine was a bad choice. She did nothing with the song, and was in no way better than Shania. Ashthon went off the deep end in her choice... There are hundreds of better Diana Ross songs, and she sang that one horribly. Stephano sucked as well, but as usual, the judges kisses his ass and said he was great.
Ashthon will be the one voted off, and she won't be saved. She barely made it into the top 13, and I don't think she'll get the votes to keep her on - she didn't even get them in the first place, she had to be a wild card addition!
Ashthon, Lauren, and Stephano.
I actually like Lauren a lot, but Any Man of Mine was a bad choice. She did nothing with the song, and was in no way better than Shania. Ashthon went off the deep end in her choice... There are hundreds of better Diana Ross songs, and she sang that one horribly. Stephano sucked as well, but as usual, the judges kisses his ass and said he was great.
Ashthon will be the one voted off, and she won't be saved. She barely made it into the top 13, and I don't think she'll get the votes to keep her on - she didn't even get them in the first place, she had to be a wild card addition!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
American Idol Premiere
Phewph! Like the majority of educated, intelligent, environmentally friendly, politically informed Americans, I've been eagerly anticipating the return of American Idol. I made a pledge to myself that if the show seemed no better than last year (the WORST EVER, I literally don't even remember who won) I wouldn't watch. But from the moment Stephen Tyler opened his perverted mouth and Jennifer Lopez took her rightful place back in the spotlight - she is like the hottest woman ever - I was sold! Auditions are auditions, you never know what's up, so here are my thoughts and predictions on this years contestants, now that it's into the voting stage. For those unfamiliar with my AI prediction skills, I'll just say that during the top 12 last year, I was pretty much unstoppable. :)
First up was Clint Jun Something. He was cute, sang Superstition (which I think was fitting bc it's super "karaoke" and he's a karaoke host) which I thought was just okay, but for some reason the judges were all about. I doubt he'll make it through, not good or hot enough.
Next came Jovany, who is super hot but lacks any personality. Fittingly, he sang that "I'll Be" song by Edwin something - fittingly because that song has no personality - and again, I was surprised at how much the judges liked it. I was starting to think they were doing that thing were they say everyone is off the chain so that people think the show is good but then again, he is pretty damn hot and has shown before he can sing in Spanish. Which he tots should have done last night. He has a 50/50 shot of making the final cut.
Finally shit started to kick off in my kind of direction - embarrassingly awful moments. Jordan Dorsey, who I find unlikeable mainly because of his treatment of the fat kid in Hollywood and because he just seems really stuck up and annoying, tried to sing OM fucking G by fucking Usher. Sorry, friend, but you just don't do that, especially without Will.I.Am backing you up. Seriously? Definitely won't make it.
I just had to look up who Tim Halperin was and what he sang, because I don't remember anything. Out.
Ah, Brett Lowenstern. Of course I love this kid for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that he's loud and proud to be Jewish, as evidenced by his immense Star of David necklace. I want it!!!! I'm not gonna lie, though, I thought the kid was good. I was momentarily confused when they panned to his family - he has two hot sisters and a really hot blonde mom? - but I got over it and just enjoyed watching the show as he tossed his orange locks about. I hope this kid makes it, but I don't think America is as enamored as I am.
So, the kid who went out on a limb and did some Judas Priest... While a clear attempt to harness his inner Adam Lambert (down to the scream at the end), I did very much enjoy his show. This kid knows how to be a rock star - he pandered to the crowd, to the TV audience, and most importantly, to Ryan, and he's gonna go far in life. Rock on, Justin. Jason? Oops, I think it was James. But he's definitely through.
Robbie Rosen, not so much. Another fellow member of the Chosen Tribe (as evidenced by his large... facial feature) sang Sarah MacLachlan. Really, Robbie? Really? Not only does she have an amazingly unique voice, but she's a she. Don't cross genders unless you're a total fucking queen - either Adam Lambert or my best friend Macy doing Guns N Roses. You have to have that extra special something.
Ah, Scotty McSomething. I hate country, and I LOVE this guy. Not since Kristy Lee Cook's God Bless the USA has a smarter song choice been made. Anything remotely patriotic is just fucking genius, and some country ballad about reading mom's letters from home to get strength for the battlefield is just some cutthroat competition. Love it. Also, he has a great voice, and considering apparently Americans are dumb enough to make country the number one music genre, he's clearly through.
Stefano was super average, nothing special. Won't go on.
So Paul McDonald, the Mick Jagger dancealike (not lookalike, but they move exactly the same, it's creepy) was great, but he's also just a 50/50 because most people probably won't "get" him, and I mean that in the least douchebaggy way possible.
And then, the love of my life (I think he's gay though) Jason Lusk took the stage. I enjoyed how the montage made a point of him being overdramatic and then cut to this kid with two fucking diamond earrings and a pink tie going fucking nuts on stage. He really is amazing. If he doesn't make it, I might stop watching. But he'll make it, because if he doesn't get the votes, he would be one of the wildcards no fucking doubt. Genius!
Aaaaaand Casey Abrams. I won't lie, I don't get the physical appeal, but he was fucking hilarious as he growled out I Put A Spell On You... I would definitely never have sex with him, but he reminds me of Zack Galifinakos (sp?) in that I think he's smarter than everyone around him and he's making fun of us all.
So I think the 6 guys (including wild card) that will go on are:
Jason
Scotty
Casey
Jovany
Brett
James
First up was Clint Jun Something. He was cute, sang Superstition (which I think was fitting bc it's super "karaoke" and he's a karaoke host) which I thought was just okay, but for some reason the judges were all about. I doubt he'll make it through, not good or hot enough.
Next came Jovany, who is super hot but lacks any personality. Fittingly, he sang that "I'll Be" song by Edwin something - fittingly because that song has no personality - and again, I was surprised at how much the judges liked it. I was starting to think they were doing that thing were they say everyone is off the chain so that people think the show is good but then again, he is pretty damn hot and has shown before he can sing in Spanish. Which he tots should have done last night. He has a 50/50 shot of making the final cut.
Finally shit started to kick off in my kind of direction - embarrassingly awful moments. Jordan Dorsey, who I find unlikeable mainly because of his treatment of the fat kid in Hollywood and because he just seems really stuck up and annoying, tried to sing OM fucking G by fucking Usher. Sorry, friend, but you just don't do that, especially without Will.I.Am backing you up. Seriously? Definitely won't make it.
I just had to look up who Tim Halperin was and what he sang, because I don't remember anything. Out.
Ah, Brett Lowenstern. Of course I love this kid for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that he's loud and proud to be Jewish, as evidenced by his immense Star of David necklace. I want it!!!! I'm not gonna lie, though, I thought the kid was good. I was momentarily confused when they panned to his family - he has two hot sisters and a really hot blonde mom? - but I got over it and just enjoyed watching the show as he tossed his orange locks about. I hope this kid makes it, but I don't think America is as enamored as I am.
So, the kid who went out on a limb and did some Judas Priest... While a clear attempt to harness his inner Adam Lambert (down to the scream at the end), I did very much enjoy his show. This kid knows how to be a rock star - he pandered to the crowd, to the TV audience, and most importantly, to Ryan, and he's gonna go far in life. Rock on, Justin. Jason? Oops, I think it was James. But he's definitely through.
Robbie Rosen, not so much. Another fellow member of the Chosen Tribe (as evidenced by his large... facial feature) sang Sarah MacLachlan. Really, Robbie? Really? Not only does she have an amazingly unique voice, but she's a she. Don't cross genders unless you're a total fucking queen - either Adam Lambert or my best friend Macy doing Guns N Roses. You have to have that extra special something.
Ah, Scotty McSomething. I hate country, and I LOVE this guy. Not since Kristy Lee Cook's God Bless the USA has a smarter song choice been made. Anything remotely patriotic is just fucking genius, and some country ballad about reading mom's letters from home to get strength for the battlefield is just some cutthroat competition. Love it. Also, he has a great voice, and considering apparently Americans are dumb enough to make country the number one music genre, he's clearly through.
Stefano was super average, nothing special. Won't go on.
So Paul McDonald, the Mick Jagger dancealike (not lookalike, but they move exactly the same, it's creepy) was great, but he's also just a 50/50 because most people probably won't "get" him, and I mean that in the least douchebaggy way possible.
And then, the love of my life (I think he's gay though) Jason Lusk took the stage. I enjoyed how the montage made a point of him being overdramatic and then cut to this kid with two fucking diamond earrings and a pink tie going fucking nuts on stage. He really is amazing. If he doesn't make it, I might stop watching. But he'll make it, because if he doesn't get the votes, he would be one of the wildcards no fucking doubt. Genius!
Aaaaaand Casey Abrams. I won't lie, I don't get the physical appeal, but he was fucking hilarious as he growled out I Put A Spell On You... I would definitely never have sex with him, but he reminds me of Zack Galifinakos (sp?) in that I think he's smarter than everyone around him and he's making fun of us all.
So I think the 6 guys (including wild card) that will go on are:
Jason
Scotty
Casey
Jovany
Brett
James
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