Top 10 reasons I love the new(ish) Selena Gomez video

I haven't been blogging very often (a lack of *quality* singing competitions might have something to do with it) but sometimes the spirit moves me and I can't help myself. This happened recently, when after hearing a hilariously awful pop song on the radio, I googled the words "I love you like a love song" and was treated to the fucking incredible video that is the new Selena Gomez release. So much to talk about, so little time:

First, you need to watch the epic video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgT_us6AsDg

Now, let's go over the points that make this video so incredibly awesome:

1) The chorus only has one line (well, two if you count "and I keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat") so I only have to learn one phrase, which is also, conveniently, the name of the song. Thanks, writing team! So easy to sing along!

2) The whole video is somehow framed around Japanese karaoke. Enough said. I would imagine the folks at Disney thought they'd kill two birds with one stone and release a regular video AND karaoke version at once?

3) Miss Gomez (not old enough to be a Ms, sorry, even if she is old enough to bang Bieber) has great hair. I love how they differentiate between "Karaoke bar Selena" and "omg I'm in the music video Selena" by making one of them big flowy Gaga hair and one of them sleek smooth and straight (more ethnically appropriate?) hair.

4) Speaking of the video-within-a-video, why is her only musical accompaniment a fucking blond Sitar player? And why is he dressed like a cross between Bowie and David Koresh? His fringed vest revealing a perfectly waxed chest seems more Native American Indian than India Indian, don't we think? And wait, now he's giving her the ol' come hither look?

5) In the midst of sitar-playing and beach frolicking with the aforementioned string player, why does she take a quick break to do some hula-hooping? Why, God, why?

6) Now, around the end of the first chorus, shit gets real interesting. We get a glimpse of a different Bowie shout-out, this one Selena herself in the classic 80s white suit and silver lipstick, before they cut away to the true genius of this video: the Amadeus tribute. I can just see her people sitting around going "ok, now let's have her stroll the beach in a hippie costume with pink lighting and a human Avatar lookalike, now let's have some Japanese karaoke characters appear on screen, and now let's have her in 18th century Viennese gear writhing around on a piano," etc. I'm pretty sure the same creepy sitar player is now the dude playing her piano, but no matter, I'm more into the fact that they got her eyebrows to really match her white powdered hair. It doesn't look creepy, how is that possible??? It's honestly all I could think about while watching her try to engage the audience in a sultry but not slutty way, which is harder then you'd think when dressed in a full-length, corseted gown and forced to gyrate on top of a purple piano.

7) Fortunately, I'm allowed to stop focusing on her brows, when some random Japanese characters come on screen to remind me that I'm still watching Selena in a Tokyo karaoke bar. Wait, what? Now we're in a retro convertible with retro hair and glasses and some Elvis lookalike is now in the picture? Yes, makes sense. Especially because it's still being captioned in Japanese.

8) If you were concerned that boy-haircut-and-silver-lipstick-and-white-suit-Selena had disappeared for good, never fear! She returns to form a cool background in the form of a TV bank for down-to-earth-karaoke-singer-Selena to dance around in front of. Phewph!

9) I was also a bit worried around this time that there would be no new surprises in store for me, as the editors began to cut all the Selenas together (Amadeus, karaoke, music video hippie princess, retro, and Bowie Selenas) but I WAS WRONG. Thank GOD, when the bridge came around we were treated to another version of Justin's GF: mariachi Selena. Yes, I said it. Selena frolics (you might think I'm overusing that word, but is there another way to describe skipping/laughing/holding hands with hotties/running through HOT PINK FIELDS OF FLOWERS??) through a field of pink daisies with a mariachi band. Oh, and they also give her a light saber with which to break a piñata.... And yes, if you were wondering, it's common practice for Mexican children to use beams of light to try and liberate their mini Snickers bars. I won't lie, though, I'd kill my firstborn to be able to have the bejeweled bodice Selena sports while breaking into a heart-shaped piñata full of confetti.

10) Hey, how'd Amadeus get into a karaoke bar??? No matter, I'm just so happy all of her supporting characters get to come together to watch her win the competition... You go, girl!